haha! 4 years has passed alr ever since i am active on blogging. oh my, it was kinda weird and funny after reading all those posts from before. i didnt know i was like that. can say that 4yrs is quite a big difference ba haha. so back to where were we.. as usual, so far my life hasn't been great since 4 yrs ago.. rejection after rejection.. hurt after hurt.. aint cool at all. recently had a girl has finally step into my heart and we started in a relationship. hmm i feel like she is kinda special? like given me love that i never felt it for so long. i was happy when i am with her. we even call each other names..bully each other.. prank each other.. stay love with each other for 3 weeks.. i regard her that she is alr part of my life =) haha i still rmb i pinch her face cos she LOVE to bite me. she is only the one will be there for me when i needed help. hmm but just recently like last week? we broke up though.. blood from my body keep flowing towards my heart, as it accumulate and doesnt have any space for blood it will explode. that's the pain i experience right after break up..tears keep dropping continuously during in the bus after i left her house.. it is the same hurt feeling again.. i thought that i would never experience this pain, hurt again. but apparently, yeah..we quarreled 3 day consecutively. i realized that actually its not totally her fault. i been keep repeating the same fucking mistake over and over. why am i like that! to cut short it.. for now.. what i really wish for is that i can go back to her and be loved by her again. no matter how hard i have to go through i will still wanna wait for her. yes, she say it not worth it. but i would really want her back again.. i dont wish to made the same mistake as last time where i ditch my 2 ex gfs.. oh my fck hais.. so after 4 yrs, what i really want is true love.. nth else and of cos studies to be better. this is what many ppl wants as well. ytd i didnt meant to "quarrel" with her again. i didnt expect i was so impulsive.. giving her the impression that i am that kind of fuck up ppl.. hais i think the chances of me going back to her is even lesser.. i totally feel no confident at all le.. i hope she will settle herself down first and by then i would give it a try again. cos i really love her..

d e a t h n o t e ) 6:03 AM