can say kinda busy these few days.well, ben just told me about what happen. he told me that she have move on and hoping that i wont think of her or wait for her anymore. ok i get your point. so that how you want it to be ended this way. you say i hurt you umpteen times and giving me alot chances. so the whole situation is becoming now my fault?wow. i cant believe it lor. who is the one keep think of that guy de. so ended up become my fault. yes, i admit is my fault that i did that in your house but isnt suppose that our bond should be stronger and closer rather than apart? ridiculous sia! then yes i did hurt you like pester you. but what made me do that? if its werent for that guy, this wont really happen le. did you tot of my feelings too anot. just suka suka break then break.fck sia. since it really ended like that then be that way. maybe yeah , others guys will appreciate you if you think iam not enough for you. AHH SUCKS LA LIFE! fck!

d e a t h n o t e ) 1:40 AM

i guess today is a devastated day for everyone uh.. break ups, causing hurt to everyone. well thats just life, but still gotta move on uh. even i was sad as well but what to do? just now in twitter, not sure who she is referring again. but she state that "you are always the same" if she is referring to me.. then i am speechless, cos what really i post on twitter doesnt really relate to her, like what i post : if both partner really care for each other then no matter how hard it is they will still endure.. i was kinda retweet it from one of my fren that recently broke up with her bf..doesnt really mean about her and me.. cos i dont even wanna think about it le. if she wanna think that way then let it be ba. make me become the 2nd gl liao.. cant she just think postively to me? hais worry so much for her cos today she stomach pain.. you dont even know i care so much for you but you just being disappointed about what i said on fri. i know its upset of what i said, but i know i am wrong alr.. what can i still do? just only want you to forgive me and be happy liao.. since you no need me then iam also ok liao lor.. hais make things so complicated. i now even fear of smsing you le.. always give cold reply. i dont really want you treat me like ben and chan luh. if i am devil in your life then just banish me off ba.. that not my intention in the very beginning le... i guess i gonna be slowly fixing that missing part alr. a scar will always remain in my heart.

d e a t h n o t e ) 7:35 AM

every tuesday is my sian day.. different modules with my classmates due to dpp. but good thing is that they accompany me to eat lunch. otherwise.. hais. i feel ok only when my classmates or frens in NP accompany me for lunch. but i feel kinda special if i spend with someone else like her would be better. regardless whether iam with her anot.. oh well here i go again -.- every post have been posting her-related. i must say she actually gave me this chance to reflect on myself by not talking to me.. yea indeed for the past few days, i have been thinking alot. learning every mistakes that i made. she really has make me realized how to be a better person like for instance, patience? and even though no matter how the other party make you du lan you will still have to tank it.  hmm perhaps this break up was right. both of us actually feel better where she has mention in her twitter(which i dont know who she refer to) but if its me.. then yea.. after all these days of thinking deep thoughts down, my love for her will not be fade its bec she is the one i can see in my future. unless sth "happens" for either one of us.. =) i cant really talk to her directly but i may wanna say it here.. take care yourself k? this morning you should bring your jacket along since you are those easily catch cold de>.< then yea i know, tons of assignments you need to do. you will have my moral support uh. even though i dont know whether you want my support anot but i will still give you! =D just do your best in everything le uh. and do rmb to eat when you are hungry uh.. i miss nagging you hais >.<

d e a t h n o t e ) 5:40 AM

feel better after working out and running for quite long.. working out and running is another alternate method to relieve my stress. hmm which is good. is better than drinking but drinking is more effective >.< its my opinion uh. wonder how is she now.. dear god, i wish i can see whats she's doing now. hopefully everything ok for her.. give her the warmth, and ensure that she's happy all the time. make sure she finish up her homework and go to bed on time and prepare for sch the next morning. wish her all the best for her common tests which is around the corner.. hopefully she can score as high as possible and pursue her dreams, same goes as mine haha =)...  going to china and tioman around aug or sept.. dont even know whether that time will i still be with her.. if so i would really give her everything i got or provide her the best support ever that she never get it before.  hope you will still forgive me what i done to you last fri.. really full of regrets doing that shit to her.. =(

d e a t h n o t e ) 6:59 AM

another boring day for me.. been 2 days since i talk to her.. feel like talking to her but yet couldn't hais. if i make the first talk, she will think iam annoying and i create more trouble for her =( how irritating i can be? went open house for terrace house. everyone in my family was excited about that but iam not.. hais so sian.. dont know how long can i go on. just need to endure for long.. seen all her twitter posts. guess she is fine since she say she's over someone which i dont know who she is referring. hmm glad that she is ok now.. when i see her live happily, i too, will feel happy for her. maybe thats what she wants ba. i will still support her even though she had difficulty in life no matter what happen. just want her to be healthy and happy le. pray for her everytime when i go to temple hoping that her biggest dream will come true and it will come true! hmm nth much for today ba. just be sure that you are happy as well alright? =) i will be there for you if you need me. 

d e a t h n o t e ) 7:35 AM

hmm, today can say that would be a better day for me.. preoccupied myself by going to mr nerd sch to meet him to study so that wont think that much when stay at home. he advise me these and that, which i really appreciate for what he did.. although he is the middle man la i feel bad for doing that =( bec of us then he have to be the middleman >.< i guess you still wont really forgive about me after all i sms you this morning. that will be my last MSG probably for the week? i don't know.. see how ba.. Ben actually kinda really knock some sense into me.. i think i really "chu" alot pattern this time round and really make her devastated.. i dont know what the fuck i doing sia especially last night.. hais i think i gone overboard alr.. this time really will be the last time i am doing this after what i realized that i have been too immature to do all these to you.. sometime one really gotta taste of the pain and then will regret de.. yea i should really move on le and less make you worry about me.. i feel guilty for doing all these to you come to think of it. that why even before we enter this RS i told you this "will you regret having a relationship with me?" iam a fuck up person de.. got attitude problem. only ben and zb knows cos i keep complain to them like a monkey. hais i also realized that actually patience is really that important to someone who cares for relationship. one of my fren has taught me that yeah you are hurt but at least you learn sth from this RS and dont expect to make the same mistakes again.. i will not make this shit happen again. if you feels happier to be alone THIS TIME ROUND i will really respect your decision. wont really like say liao then later it happen again -.- but what i really wanna tell you is that the missing part of my heart is really separated from it le. hope this missing part can automatically come back and fix with my heart again..   

d e a t h n o t e ) 8:51 AM

well, finally i got a clean break up with her le. which i hate to admit it. actually the past few days i have been keep pestering her about going back to her etc.. there are reasons why i did this.. you know ma? i want you to hate me even more and i want you to give me the confidence of not going back to you alr.. yea its cruel like what you say you dont want a rs anymore. so why not i be cruel to you as well which keep on pestering you? hais. now, you will think i resemble like gl alr.. which is what i want you to feel about me.. but the fact that is iam not really like gl.. i deliberately de.. hope you forgive me about this. i couldnt really bear to leave you de and thats real. since i love you so much i gotta let you go alr.. sigh.. why things must turn out this way lor? bec of that gl then make both of us feel hurt? yes i know your feelings need time and stuff but what about mine? have you thought of mine anot? i told you many times that i am weak this RS le. you just dont really get it right? and i still think the 3 weeks you been with me is like nth.. why? cos gl been with you for 3 months then you think so much for what? why jason or me never think that much? wtf sia? i know you still like him de.. if not there is no reason why you will only think of GL but not me and jason.. yes he hurt you deeply. then the more you should forget about him le and go with me instead, yet we break up.. hais this isnt what i want and isnt what you want.. then you should not do this to me.. ytd i was really drunk and harsh on you sry i have to be like that.. someone out there maybe will be better than me ba.. you said iam your everything.. come to think of it i dont know whether am i your everything alr anot. if you are, you wont be thinking of GL and break with me. then since now you dont wanna sms me i wish you all the best in your studies le.. my heart have alr lost that missing part which is you.. i hope one day.. really one day that missing part will come back and fixed my heart again.. which i doubt so le ba..

d e a t h n o t e ) 8:49 PM